time...

...is going so quickly this semester. i feel like i am sitting still but it is speeding by. i'm sick this week. but it's sort of nice to rest a little. and thankfully i have time.

i got to help cook supper at a home nearby tonight. nathaniel, ben, and i are on the wednesday night team with another girl from class who couldnt be there tonight. we had fun making spaghetti and garlic bread and eating it with the people there. it was good.

tomorrow is opening night for our winter play. i'm really excited to go see it. my mentor is directing so i'm especially excited for this one.

i got to journal today. i'm working on doing that more this year. i bought a new journal and its brown with buttons all over it...so cute. it makes journaling more fun. and i'm finding it's a better way for me to pray too. i focus better if i'm walking or writing while i pray i think. especially walking. but writings a good alternative during the winter i think.

i'm learning to go to bed earlier this semester. my roommate is teaching so she goes to bed just after 10 now. i'm trying to be in bed not much after that too. i figure there's no real reason for me to stay up later and it's good to learn discipline to wake up in the morning probably. but wow i'm feeling old and not fun-college-studenty...going to bed at 11. don't tell.

alright. time to go be productive. goodnight world.

weekend plans

so i just read through some old posts on here. it makes me glad that i blogged cuz i've already forgotten a lot of stuff that happened. at the same time i feel a little ridiculous reading them. i've changed a lot...that's a good thing...but it's funny to see how different i was. it's kind of encouraging too because sometimes i just think of changes as bad things, but it seems like i've grown up a lot since i started writing. i wonder how long it will be til i look back and think the same thing about this post.

its a good weekend. the girls and i went to the boys' house for aldi's pizza (mmm) and freedom writers on the big screen =). and today lot's of families are coming to school...i think that's one of my favorite parts of college...the way we all get to share each others families. and i'm going to visit a church with my urban class...that'll be good too. i'm not used to being at services that are quite that long but i'm excited to see what it's like. and i'm going to see a senior theatre project, and i'm going to my first basketball game of the year! and i may even get to go swimming.

the snow is melting. the day is relaxing. the homework needs to be done. happy saturday!

hello!

hello blogging world. it's my last year at college. my last semester actually. so i thought it would be a good time to remember. and a good time to update you all about. so i'm back to the blog =).

classes are good and not too busy yet. we had a snow day yesterday! i went sledding and got to spend time with the family i babysit. it's nice to be in a real house with a real family every once in awhile.

now that i've spent my afternoon making my blog pretty it's time to do real work. hope you're enjoying all this snow!

back again

well, it's been a very long while. it still seems a little unnecessary to post if my grandma's not going to read it. but maybe someone else will. i will anyway =). it's nice to have somewhere to think outloud.

i'm back home to a new home for the summer. it's nice to have the busyness of the school year finished and to have time to stop and think and rest. it was good to be home those first few days, even though now i'm starting to feel a little stuck without purpose here. the job search isn't going as fast as i hoped, but i'm still looking and i an application to the Y in town. we'll see what God has planned...something to help me be productive will be appreciated. until then i'm working on that contentment thing and learning during my free time and being thankful for the internet to keep me connected to the friends i dont have with me here. got some good Frank Peretti reading done this week. it's amazing what a big difference the little things make. a book to read, a room to clean...it feels so good to accomplish those things =).

so life is slow...summer's good for that. it'll probably change soon as class and work start back up and i'm pretty sure i'll enjoy that change of pace. but for now it's a good time to recharge from busyness.

hope all is well in your summer.

still seems weird to post if grandma's not going to read it, but i think it's about that time again.

life was slow today. i came home from classes and broke out the potato head pjs to do laundry in and just never felt the need to change back. which led to a nice quiet night of skipping supper and opting for easy mac in the room. the easy mac which blew out my electricity for a good hour or so haha. silly fuses. thankfully the campus safety man came and fixed it. it's been a good quiet day though...talks with the girls around the dorm and just sitting around my room. i needed that after this weekend...i didn't notice that it really was a weekend. and it looks like even after a very extended break, the homework will be done in time. another blessing in the day.

this semester has been so refreshing after last semester. i feel like a lot of the things that God has been teaching me in the past couple of years are coming together and starting to make sense in a big picture sort of way. so that's encouraging. classes are pretty good...especially ones with friends, yay! the grading assistant thing is good too...i like it. i'm enjoying this spot in life a lot right now!

this week my top career choice is teaching preschool...i mean if that whole camp thing doesn't pan out. it changes all the time, but that's what i'm thinking today. =)

New.

new post. new year. new semester. so many things are new.

it's strange to post right now. i usually think to update so that people who don't live near me, specifically my grandma, know what's going on in life, so it seems funny to update now. i miss her.

break's been good. nice to be in the new house with the family. it was a nice semester, but it was draining and break has been a good time to rest and rethink and recharge. life in the country seems a little slower...it's a nice way to be in the middle of christmas break. good time to see my family and play games and sleep and clean and get ready to go back to school and figure out ideas for life. good time to reconsider priorities and focus and see how the walk is.

and now the break's almost over...it's gone by fast. it's nice to be on break. it's nice to be at school. i'm blessed with two nice places to be. this semester looks like it will have good classes. i still love this psychology thing...so i'm looking forward to taking more classes for that. the bible studies are really encouraging and i'm excited to be in those this semester. jen and i are moving into a new room =)....i'll miss the old hall...it's a great group of girls. but i'm excited to move into the new room too...i like my roommate =D.

i looked up the word "new" in the Bible this week. it seemed kind of significant when i saw all the different times and ways it was mentioned, more than i thought of before. it was good to think about with the freshness of a new year here. it goes well with the chance that break brings to ponder life and who i want to be. matthew 22:37 and 6:21 are my thoughts as i'm thinking about the newness of this year. i want to learn about the combination of those and what it looks like...all my heart and where my treasure is...seems like there must be an important connection. that's my hope with this chance at a new year.

that's life here. hope that your year brings new depths in your love for Him. =)

"Jesus, draw me ever nearer...."

hello, world.

i'm back home this weekend...sitting in the kitchen listening to my mom and grandma talk about the evils of mice. it's entertaining. and i realized that it'd be a good chance to make a reappearance in my blog. it's really long, so feel free to skim =P...just my life in a nutshell....a very big nutshell.

this semester has been...interesting. i love my classes still...mostly all psych stuff and it's so interesting! i think intimate relationships is my favorite class right now...i love going to that class! and i'm really happy with my major right now...i like my psych classes a lot and it makes me pretty convinced that i'm in the major God wants me in. i love learning about how people work together =). people make me happy.

and that's more of what i've been learning this year. people are great...i love them a lot. but i can't depend on them to make me happy. i thought i learned that last year, but i forget how often i need reminders of things like that. it's been a really hard semester. but i'm learning a lot about what it means to trust God when i don't know what to do. and hopefully even when i think i do know what to do. something i'm sure i'll have to keep learning the rest of my life. it's been a tiring semester, but there have been really good times. good friends. good talks. good memories.

lots of choices this year. i have to find an internship soon, find a grad school, find which state i want to live in. things like that. it's a lot to think about but it's exciting too! it's encouraging to think about last summer...i knew i loved ohio and i didnt want to leave that for california...but i wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere but there. i loved it! so i'm interested to see how He shows me where to go from here. i'd love to go back to california this summer, but it sounds like i'll be home doing an internship. we'll see what He's got planned.

hmm...other things in life...i love the girls in my bible studies....i'm learning a lot there....i have two amazing roommates this year...cedarville doesnt know that bethany's our roommate because she technically sleeps downstairs haha but i love those girls...good times with friends in classes...good talks with friends....good weekends at midtown and family brunches and movie a fternoons...i have a mentor now, the prof who taught my acting class, and i've been learning lots there also.

so if i had to sum up the semester in a word i think i'd say 'learning. it's been hard sometimes. really fun sometimes. but God has put so many people in my life to teach me right now and it's exciting to look back and see those things. junior year is good...going by crazy fast, but i love it here and i'm very thankful that God's let me be at school here. i don't know why He has but i'm really glad =).

the boys played with The Demerits (they play Irish music) in the Hive one night... and we dressed up...in the picture we're Mr. Rogers, a nerdy science-kid, a pirate, and a "Cos-tomb" =D

sometimes little things are huge..

...praise God for answered prayer.

"My God is so big
So strong and so mighty
There's nothing my God cannot do"

"it's not that i am stronger. look at my feeble wings. but i've been lifted higher."

i am alive....just in case you weren't sure =)

camp was incredible. i miss it often.

i'm back at school. an upperclassman. life goes fast. things are good. things are hard. God is good...always teaching. i've been blessed in so many ways. i love my classes. i love my major. i love my friends. it's nice here.

i got two fish. mr. and mrs. crosby. they've died now but they were good fishies =).

i got a great roommate and we got to have matching comforters and a fun pink and brown room...we love it.

i'm in a bible study with some amazing girls who love Jesus a lot. i'm leading another one with a bunch of wonderful freshmen girls. so excited about that.

i have so much. praise Jesus.

"Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys
They're all just passing by
It's not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I've been lifted higher
Yaweh's lifted me in His own strength"

~ The Swift

live a life of love...

what about when life doesn't come with detailed instructions.
what about when trying to do the right thing doesn't seem like it helps anyone or makes any difference.
what do i do then?

be thankful for people around me who love me?
keep trying to obey?
keep praying?

that's all i can figure out.
will you pray for me for wisdom, for obedience, for love like Him please?
thank you =)

"God is so good, He's so good to me"

last week in CA
well three more weeks of camp are gone and only one more left to go. i love it here and i'm going to miss it a lot. it'll be nice to be home, but it'll be hard to leave here at the same time. two weekends ago we stayed at camp all weekend and last weekend was crazy busy here, thus the lack of posting, so in the five minutes before i run out the door to head back to camp i wanted to try to update you on life and say thank you very very much for your prayers and your mail...it means a lot! (the letters that came from kids kamp made my day so thanks bunches those of you who were a part of that...i loved it!)
the last few weeks have been good at camp...spelunking was fun on our break over the fourth...more stories there later...i had a harder week of realizing some areas i needed to work on as a counselor and God gave me people and verses to help figure out a better way to do some things and it made a big difference...this last week was jr high and it was definitely a favorite! i loved my cabin! one of my campers accepted Christ this week and it's an amazing story that i love to tell, so if you remind me someday when you see me i would love to tell you about it. the other weeks were good too...God gave me girls with a lot of good questions and i even got to spend time talking with one girl who had never read the bible or been to church, so it was exciting to be able to sit and read the creation story with her. i'd appreciate prayers for her too if you think about it. but it sounds like they're about finished packing up the car, so i've got to run. camp is good, God is teaching me a lot and i'm so thankful that He's given me this summer out here. it's been incredible! prayers for safety this week and for growth for all of us would be very appreciated. hope you're having a wonderful summer too!

"i've got a river of life flowing out of me!"

well two more weeks of camp are past.

two weeks ago was "CEF week" where they come in and run a camp to teach kids how to do five day clubs. since they run the camp all we do is staff stuff and bond as counselors =D. it was a lot of fun. we had a lot of free time to spend having alone time with God and it was awesome to be able to sit next to a mountain stream and read psalms about how God created mountains and streams and loves me too. that was definitely a highlight of the week. we really got to know each other better as counselors and we got to have the annual counselor's campfire on a raft on the pond! it was cold out there...but the fire kept us warm and it was great! the boys all slept out under the stars and the girls all slept under tents with screen roofs and it was gorgeous! the stars are so bright here! we got to spend a lot of time working together in the kitchen which was nice cuz i think working staff like that someplace really makes it feel like it's "yours" and it gave me a huge appreciation for the kitchen staff! we got to have lots and lots of time around a campfire under the stars the nights we were there and it was wonderful...campfires like that are one of my favorite parts of camp and we got to have one every night! the first night we got there one of the counselors had been hunting frogs in the pond with a bow and arrow and he ended up getting one accidentally so we got to eat wild frog leg that he roasted over the campfire! twas a good week!

this week was our first junior week so we had 4-6th graders. i only ended up with 5 girls in my cabin which was really nice. they were a really fun group and really good too. they were crazy hyper a lot of the time...they loved to yell and be really goofy but they did pretty well settling down when they needed to also. i had one girl who just seemed a lot younger than the other girls and had a lot of trouble paying attention and i got to have one on one time with her by the end of the week and found out that there's a lot she doesnt understand about salvation and Jesus. so we got to talk about that for awhile and i think most of it went over her head but i was still encouraged to know that she had at least heard, even if she doesnt understand it all yet. but if you think of her and want to pray that would be wonderful. one big praise there was that all week i had to get on her about talking during prayer and just not being respectful about it and it finally dawned on me partway through the week that it looked like no one ever really bothered to sit her down and explain it very well. so we got to talk several times about why we act the way we do during prayer and i finally had to take away her snack time one night for talking during prayer but she started changing and at the campfire the last night she told everyone that her favorite part of camp was praying. so it was encouraging to see God working there!

i was reading philemon this week and paul kinda tells him to be active in sharing his faith so that philemon will understand how much God has given us. and i feel like that's where i am as a counselor...the thing about "the best way to learn something is to teach someone else" has really struck me this week. trying to teach these girls makes me want to understand better things that i've kind of taken for granted and it's been good. i've enjoyed getting to know the other counselors so far this summer too...we get to have a meeting at 6:45 every morning and it's one of the best parts of the day to sit there and share prayer requests and sing together. and one of the nice things is that at camp time doesnt matter...it's all relative so being up that early isn't bad at all.

another big praise is that this was the week of kids kamp back home. the week that i look forward to all year and that i debated so long over when i was deciding if i should come out here. and i was concerned that i would be very sad and distracted this week, but i wasn't! i'm still very convinced that this is where God wants me this summer and i was even happy to be out here this week even though i had to miss a year with some of my very favorite people. so that was a very big answer to prayer!

thanks to all of you who have been praying! i appreciate it so much and i can see ways where God has been working that don't make any sense apart from Him working and that's so exciting to see. we sing "spring up o well" a lot here at camp and i love the part that talks about "he makes the lame to walk and the blind to see." and to know that's still the God we're praying to when we start praying for the campers who need to be at camp the most but are getting so sick they're about to be sent home or when we share prayer requests in the morning meetings. it's been really encouraging to see Him answering prayers like that!

so that's my super huge update for now...my california family and i are all going up to oregon to go spelunking this week! and then we have kids come to camp thursday through saturday and then more monday through friday, so we're planning to not even come home next weekend. so we'd definitely appreciate prayer for His strength the next couple weeks especially. we're starting with 1-3rd graders and then the second week will be 4-6th again. should be great...i'm looking forward to it! hope you're all having a wonderful summer! thanks for keeping in touch with emails and mail and phone calls! it's really meant a lot for me to hear from you back home!

happy july!

first week of camp!

well we went up to camp for the first time this week! it's gorgeous....pine trees in the mountains with blue sky in the day and bright stars at night. i learned how to do cpr on dummies with no arms and legs and hopefully it'll work the same on people with limbs too if i ever need it. we even got to play with "training" defibrilators so i feel very prepared now =P. the whole staff worked together one day to muck out our pond...by hand. it was really fun and messy...i'll hafta put up pictures someday. we got our first group of campers this week and it was good. i got to work with a co-counselor and we had 5 little girls. our youngest was 5 years old and it was a fun week! i mostly know my way around camp now i think =P - only got lost a few times haha. it's so pretty there. and i got a fun new superhero cape for "the phantom farmer" and i even have a super power now....i transform into different farm animals and plants haha. we presented our first lesson this week in my group and it seemed like it went pretty smoothly. the times with other counselors have been so good....theyve been so helpful and welcoming and fun and its just been such a good time. theres such a focus on the Bible and even taking kids back to it whenever we're walking around with them or disciplining or anything like that and its been good. the counselor devotions in the morning and the meetings where we have like 15 college-ish kids gathered in a little room singing and doing motions to little kids songs are some of the best memories so far. God has blessed me so so much out here. it's been a very good week. i'd appreciate prayer this coming week for rest and focus and love (the patient kind =D) and thanks agains for all of you who are praying. it means very much and makes a difference too =D. hope you're all having a good week! and it's time for me to go now and have another meal prepared by some favorite cedarvillians. much love to you all.

i'm there =)

my flights went well and i made it into california wednesday night. we spent the night at mel's sister's apartment and thursday we came up here to her house. that night we got to meet the other counselors and our camp director and nurse and assistant director. we had lots of fun (and rug burn!) playing games getting to know each other and then getting to meet with our teaching teams to plan out our lessons for the summer! the rest of the week mel, lance, ben, and i have been hanging out with melanie friends and some of the other counselors. we've gotten to go shopping to buy fabric for the super hero capes that our assistant director is making for us. my super hero is the phantom farmer...i disappear! and my cape has cowprint fabric! so we've been hanging out around mel's house...swimming a lot in the pool and having water fights - we just went back to the dollar store today to buy more squirt guns! the cashier knows us already ;) - and stargazing because it's gorgeous out here! we can see the mountains from the deck in the back and the sky is huge and bright and it's amazing! we sit out there for breakfast and work on tans while we eat our cereal! today we went out to the lake and went sailboating for awhile. so we've had a great trip so far. tonight ben and i are making pizza-y creations for supper and tomorrow we all head up to camp for training! thanks so much for all of your prayers! i appreciate it very much! we have our first group of kids (the little 1st-3rd graders) coming in this week so that's one specific thing i would appreciate prayers for. so that's the first week update...talk to ya in about a week after i'm an official counselor! much love,

"let's pack up and move to california"

senior trip was lots of fun!
so was seeing or hearing from a lot of midwest friends before i head out for the summer.
i'm leaving on wednesday! i'll have internet on the weekends so hopefully i can keep most of you updated that way =). one prayer request i have already is for thursday nights at 7. that's the night that my team and i will be teaching the lesson for our hero theme...ours is from Hebrews 12 and i think that i'm doing the part about "fixing our eyes on Jesus" so if you would keep us in your prayers around that time i would really appreciate it! thanks lots! hope youre having a wonderful night!

time for a senior trip...=D

my cousin's open house was yesterday, so there's lots of family up here at there house right now...we're sitting around on our respective laptops. i think we counted 9 or 10 computers in the living room last night with all the open house visitors who were still around afterward =).
so it's fun to hang out with all the family...it's one of the best things about graduations...we get to see all of the family for awhile. and that doesn't happen very often at all now...so it's good.
and now it's time for a week of senior-tripping. hope summer is good where you are.

officially done with sophomoreness

stats is over!!!! i'm very glad. i spent the last couple of weeks doing stats just about all day (well with a few breaks in between =P). i went to the library a lot. because they have microsoft office and i do not =). i learned a lot about my town in those days. our library is not quiet. not really at all. it's friendly instead. people go there and talk and catch up on news. people even call the librarians when they don't know where their kids are. it's kinda cool. not quiet but very social. and i'm thankful too that God gave motivation to finish. because i procrastinated waaaay too much at the beginning. it'll be nice to have a little time to relax now. twill be nice to have time with my family before i head out for the summer.

speaking of which. this will be my california family for the summer. mel and her parents are in the middle...i'll be staying with them on weekends. and mel and lance(the boy in the pic who is not one of the parents) and ben(who is not in the picture at all) and i will be counseling together during the week!

nothin much

a summer update
stats is going well....few more days and i'm done!
it's kept me busy too. i haven't really been lonely here, til tonight a little. i like this little town...just don't really know more than my 4 people here.=P shout out to pubbers who may happen to stumble across bloggings...i miss you guys! =)
tomorrow i get to babysit jillian for the first time! =D!
and then i'll be done with homework in a few days and get to enjoy summer with the family for a few weeks. yay!

sleep well, all

summer is...roadtrips and camps with favorite people

i just found out that in a few weeks i'm going on a roadtrip with one of my best friends that i grew up with and our grandma! who gets to do that! it's great!

i'm home now...haven't unpacked yet because i'm getting lots of stats homework done...two more weeks of that and then shopping and stuff for california and then roadtripping with the cousin and gma!

p.s. i have a plane ticket! i'm really going to california! God provided a great deal and really good flights...they have everything that i was praying for. i won't even have to miss any of family camp!

happy summer break, all!

tomorrow...

i go home =D
(technically. cuz it's friday now and so i get to go home with my family tomorrow!)

i say goodbye...
(technically. cuz i haven't gone to sleep since thursday so it counts as thursday somehow =P)
...to some friends i will see again in a few weeks. some in a few months. and some who won't be back next year at all. ='(

but then i go home!

jen and i had one last walk tonight. talked about all that has happened this year. it's been good. a lot. i think i have changed more this year than any other part of my life that i can think of. and it's been good.

i love my friends here. i will miss them a lot. i love summer and my family. it'll be good.

so long CU