"Jesus, draw me ever nearer...."

hello, world.

i'm back home this weekend...sitting in the kitchen listening to my mom and grandma talk about the evils of mice. it's entertaining. and i realized that it'd be a good chance to make a reappearance in my blog. it's really long, so feel free to skim =P...just my life in a nutshell....a very big nutshell.

this semester has been...interesting. i love my classes still...mostly all psych stuff and it's so interesting! i think intimate relationships is my favorite class right now...i love going to that class! and i'm really happy with my major right now...i like my psych classes a lot and it makes me pretty convinced that i'm in the major God wants me in. i love learning about how people work together =). people make me happy.

and that's more of what i've been learning this year. people are great...i love them a lot. but i can't depend on them to make me happy. i thought i learned that last year, but i forget how often i need reminders of things like that. it's been a really hard semester. but i'm learning a lot about what it means to trust God when i don't know what to do. and hopefully even when i think i do know what to do. something i'm sure i'll have to keep learning the rest of my life. it's been a tiring semester, but there have been really good times. good friends. good talks. good memories.

lots of choices this year. i have to find an internship soon, find a grad school, find which state i want to live in. things like that. it's a lot to think about but it's exciting too! it's encouraging to think about last summer...i knew i loved ohio and i didnt want to leave that for california...but i wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere but there. i loved it! so i'm interested to see how He shows me where to go from here. i'd love to go back to california this summer, but it sounds like i'll be home doing an internship. we'll see what He's got planned.

hmm...other things in life...i love the girls in my bible studies....i'm learning a lot there....i have two amazing roommates this year...cedarville doesnt know that bethany's our roommate because she technically sleeps downstairs haha but i love those girls...good times with friends in classes...good talks with friends....good weekends at midtown and family brunches and movie a fternoons...i have a mentor now, the prof who taught my acting class, and i've been learning lots there also.

so if i had to sum up the semester in a word i think i'd say 'learning. it's been hard sometimes. really fun sometimes. but God has put so many people in my life to teach me right now and it's exciting to look back and see those things. junior year is good...going by crazy fast, but i love it here and i'm very thankful that God's let me be at school here. i don't know why He has but i'm really glad =).

the boys played with The Demerits (they play Irish music) in the Hive one night... and we dressed up...in the picture we're Mr. Rogers, a nerdy science-kid, a pirate, and a "Cos-tomb" =D

sometimes little things are huge..

...praise God for answered prayer.

"My God is so big
So strong and so mighty
There's nothing my God cannot do"

"it's not that i am stronger. look at my feeble wings. but i've been lifted higher."

i am alive....just in case you weren't sure =)

camp was incredible. i miss it often.

i'm back at school. an upperclassman. life goes fast. things are good. things are hard. God is good...always teaching. i've been blessed in so many ways. i love my classes. i love my major. i love my friends. it's nice here.

i got two fish. mr. and mrs. crosby. they've died now but they were good fishies =).

i got a great roommate and we got to have matching comforters and a fun pink and brown room...we love it.

i'm in a bible study with some amazing girls who love Jesus a lot. i'm leading another one with a bunch of wonderful freshmen girls. so excited about that.

i have so much. praise Jesus.

"Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys
They're all just passing by
It's not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I've been lifted higher
Yaweh's lifted me in His own strength"

~ The Swift

live a life of love...

what about when life doesn't come with detailed instructions.
what about when trying to do the right thing doesn't seem like it helps anyone or makes any difference.
what do i do then?

be thankful for people around me who love me?
keep trying to obey?
keep praying?

that's all i can figure out.
will you pray for me for wisdom, for obedience, for love like Him please?
thank you =)

"God is so good, He's so good to me"

last week in CA
well three more weeks of camp are gone and only one more left to go. i love it here and i'm going to miss it a lot. it'll be nice to be home, but it'll be hard to leave here at the same time. two weekends ago we stayed at camp all weekend and last weekend was crazy busy here, thus the lack of posting, so in the five minutes before i run out the door to head back to camp i wanted to try to update you on life and say thank you very very much for your prayers and your mail...it means a lot! (the letters that came from kids kamp made my day so thanks bunches those of you who were a part of that...i loved it!)
the last few weeks have been good at camp...spelunking was fun on our break over the fourth...more stories there later...i had a harder week of realizing some areas i needed to work on as a counselor and God gave me people and verses to help figure out a better way to do some things and it made a big difference...this last week was jr high and it was definitely a favorite! i loved my cabin! one of my campers accepted Christ this week and it's an amazing story that i love to tell, so if you remind me someday when you see me i would love to tell you about it. the other weeks were good too...God gave me girls with a lot of good questions and i even got to spend time talking with one girl who had never read the bible or been to church, so it was exciting to be able to sit and read the creation story with her. i'd appreciate prayers for her too if you think about it. but it sounds like they're about finished packing up the car, so i've got to run. camp is good, God is teaching me a lot and i'm so thankful that He's given me this summer out here. it's been incredible! prayers for safety this week and for growth for all of us would be very appreciated. hope you're having a wonderful summer too!

"i've got a river of life flowing out of me!"

well two more weeks of camp are past.

two weeks ago was "CEF week" where they come in and run a camp to teach kids how to do five day clubs. since they run the camp all we do is staff stuff and bond as counselors =D. it was a lot of fun. we had a lot of free time to spend having alone time with God and it was awesome to be able to sit next to a mountain stream and read psalms about how God created mountains and streams and loves me too. that was definitely a highlight of the week. we really got to know each other better as counselors and we got to have the annual counselor's campfire on a raft on the pond! it was cold out there...but the fire kept us warm and it was great! the boys all slept out under the stars and the girls all slept under tents with screen roofs and it was gorgeous! the stars are so bright here! we got to spend a lot of time working together in the kitchen which was nice cuz i think working staff like that someplace really makes it feel like it's "yours" and it gave me a huge appreciation for the kitchen staff! we got to have lots and lots of time around a campfire under the stars the nights we were there and it was wonderful...campfires like that are one of my favorite parts of camp and we got to have one every night! the first night we got there one of the counselors had been hunting frogs in the pond with a bow and arrow and he ended up getting one accidentally so we got to eat wild frog leg that he roasted over the campfire! twas a good week!

this week was our first junior week so we had 4-6th graders. i only ended up with 5 girls in my cabin which was really nice. they were a really fun group and really good too. they were crazy hyper a lot of the time...they loved to yell and be really goofy but they did pretty well settling down when they needed to also. i had one girl who just seemed a lot younger than the other girls and had a lot of trouble paying attention and i got to have one on one time with her by the end of the week and found out that there's a lot she doesnt understand about salvation and Jesus. so we got to talk about that for awhile and i think most of it went over her head but i was still encouraged to know that she had at least heard, even if she doesnt understand it all yet. but if you think of her and want to pray that would be wonderful. one big praise there was that all week i had to get on her about talking during prayer and just not being respectful about it and it finally dawned on me partway through the week that it looked like no one ever really bothered to sit her down and explain it very well. so we got to talk several times about why we act the way we do during prayer and i finally had to take away her snack time one night for talking during prayer but she started changing and at the campfire the last night she told everyone that her favorite part of camp was praying. so it was encouraging to see God working there!

i was reading philemon this week and paul kinda tells him to be active in sharing his faith so that philemon will understand how much God has given us. and i feel like that's where i am as a counselor...the thing about "the best way to learn something is to teach someone else" has really struck me this week. trying to teach these girls makes me want to understand better things that i've kind of taken for granted and it's been good. i've enjoyed getting to know the other counselors so far this summer too...we get to have a meeting at 6:45 every morning and it's one of the best parts of the day to sit there and share prayer requests and sing together. and one of the nice things is that at camp time doesnt matter...it's all relative so being up that early isn't bad at all.

another big praise is that this was the week of kids kamp back home. the week that i look forward to all year and that i debated so long over when i was deciding if i should come out here. and i was concerned that i would be very sad and distracted this week, but i wasn't! i'm still very convinced that this is where God wants me this summer and i was even happy to be out here this week even though i had to miss a year with some of my very favorite people. so that was a very big answer to prayer!

thanks to all of you who have been praying! i appreciate it so much and i can see ways where God has been working that don't make any sense apart from Him working and that's so exciting to see. we sing "spring up o well" a lot here at camp and i love the part that talks about "he makes the lame to walk and the blind to see." and to know that's still the God we're praying to when we start praying for the campers who need to be at camp the most but are getting so sick they're about to be sent home or when we share prayer requests in the morning meetings. it's been really encouraging to see Him answering prayers like that!

so that's my super huge update for now...my california family and i are all going up to oregon to go spelunking this week! and then we have kids come to camp thursday through saturday and then more monday through friday, so we're planning to not even come home next weekend. so we'd definitely appreciate prayer for His strength the next couple weeks especially. we're starting with 1-3rd graders and then the second week will be 4-6th again. should be great...i'm looking forward to it! hope you're all having a wonderful summer! thanks for keeping in touch with emails and mail and phone calls! it's really meant a lot for me to hear from you back home!

happy july!

first week of camp!

well we went up to camp for the first time this week! it's gorgeous....pine trees in the mountains with blue sky in the day and bright stars at night. i learned how to do cpr on dummies with no arms and legs and hopefully it'll work the same on people with limbs too if i ever need it. we even got to play with "training" defibrilators so i feel very prepared now =P. the whole staff worked together one day to muck out our pond...by hand. it was really fun and messy...i'll hafta put up pictures someday. we got our first group of campers this week and it was good. i got to work with a co-counselor and we had 5 little girls. our youngest was 5 years old and it was a fun week! i mostly know my way around camp now i think =P - only got lost a few times haha. it's so pretty there. and i got a fun new superhero cape for "the phantom farmer" and i even have a super power now....i transform into different farm animals and plants haha. we presented our first lesson this week in my group and it seemed like it went pretty smoothly. the times with other counselors have been so good....theyve been so helpful and welcoming and fun and its just been such a good time. theres such a focus on the Bible and even taking kids back to it whenever we're walking around with them or disciplining or anything like that and its been good. the counselor devotions in the morning and the meetings where we have like 15 college-ish kids gathered in a little room singing and doing motions to little kids songs are some of the best memories so far. God has blessed me so so much out here. it's been a very good week. i'd appreciate prayer this coming week for rest and focus and love (the patient kind =D) and thanks agains for all of you who are praying. it means very much and makes a difference too =D. hope you're all having a good week! and it's time for me to go now and have another meal prepared by some favorite cedarvillians. much love to you all.

i'm there =)

my flights went well and i made it into california wednesday night. we spent the night at mel's sister's apartment and thursday we came up here to her house. that night we got to meet the other counselors and our camp director and nurse and assistant director. we had lots of fun (and rug burn!) playing games getting to know each other and then getting to meet with our teaching teams to plan out our lessons for the summer! the rest of the week mel, lance, ben, and i have been hanging out with melanie friends and some of the other counselors. we've gotten to go shopping to buy fabric for the super hero capes that our assistant director is making for us. my super hero is the phantom farmer...i disappear! and my cape has cowprint fabric! so we've been hanging out around mel's house...swimming a lot in the pool and having water fights - we just went back to the dollar store today to buy more squirt guns! the cashier knows us already ;) - and stargazing because it's gorgeous out here! we can see the mountains from the deck in the back and the sky is huge and bright and it's amazing! we sit out there for breakfast and work on tans while we eat our cereal! today we went out to the lake and went sailboating for awhile. so we've had a great trip so far. tonight ben and i are making pizza-y creations for supper and tomorrow we all head up to camp for training! thanks so much for all of your prayers! i appreciate it very much! we have our first group of kids (the little 1st-3rd graders) coming in this week so that's one specific thing i would appreciate prayers for. so that's the first week update...talk to ya in about a week after i'm an official counselor! much love,

"let's pack up and move to california"

senior trip was lots of fun!
so was seeing or hearing from a lot of midwest friends before i head out for the summer.
i'm leaving on wednesday! i'll have internet on the weekends so hopefully i can keep most of you updated that way =). one prayer request i have already is for thursday nights at 7. that's the night that my team and i will be teaching the lesson for our hero theme...ours is from Hebrews 12 and i think that i'm doing the part about "fixing our eyes on Jesus" so if you would keep us in your prayers around that time i would really appreciate it! thanks lots! hope youre having a wonderful night!

time for a senior trip...=D

my cousin's open house was yesterday, so there's lots of family up here at there house right now...we're sitting around on our respective laptops. i think we counted 9 or 10 computers in the living room last night with all the open house visitors who were still around afterward =).
so it's fun to hang out with all the family...it's one of the best things about graduations...we get to see all of the family for awhile. and that doesn't happen very often at all now...so it's good.
and now it's time for a week of senior-tripping. hope summer is good where you are.

officially done with sophomoreness

stats is over!!!! i'm very glad. i spent the last couple of weeks doing stats just about all day (well with a few breaks in between =P). i went to the library a lot. because they have microsoft office and i do not =). i learned a lot about my town in those days. our library is not quiet. not really at all. it's friendly instead. people go there and talk and catch up on news. people even call the librarians when they don't know where their kids are. it's kinda cool. not quiet but very social. and i'm thankful too that God gave motivation to finish. because i procrastinated waaaay too much at the beginning. it'll be nice to have a little time to relax now. twill be nice to have time with my family before i head out for the summer.

speaking of which. this will be my california family for the summer. mel and her parents are in the middle...i'll be staying with them on weekends. and mel and lance(the boy in the pic who is not one of the parents) and ben(who is not in the picture at all) and i will be counseling together during the week!

nothin much

a summer update
stats is going well....few more days and i'm done!
it's kept me busy too. i haven't really been lonely here, til tonight a little. i like this little town...just don't really know more than my 4 people here.=P shout out to pubbers who may happen to stumble across bloggings...i miss you guys! =)
tomorrow i get to babysit jillian for the first time! =D!
and then i'll be done with homework in a few days and get to enjoy summer with the family for a few weeks. yay!

sleep well, all

summer is...roadtrips and camps with favorite people

i just found out that in a few weeks i'm going on a roadtrip with one of my best friends that i grew up with and our grandma! who gets to do that! it's great!

i'm home now...haven't unpacked yet because i'm getting lots of stats homework done...two more weeks of that and then shopping and stuff for california and then roadtripping with the cousin and gma!

p.s. i have a plane ticket! i'm really going to california! God provided a great deal and really good flights...they have everything that i was praying for. i won't even have to miss any of family camp!

happy summer break, all!

tomorrow...

i go home =D
(technically. cuz it's friday now and so i get to go home with my family tomorrow!)

i say goodbye...
(technically. cuz i haven't gone to sleep since thursday so it counts as thursday somehow =P)
...to some friends i will see again in a few weeks. some in a few months. and some who won't be back next year at all. ='(

but then i go home!

jen and i had one last walk tonight. talked about all that has happened this year. it's been good. a lot. i think i have changed more this year than any other part of my life that i can think of. and it's been good.

i love my friends here. i will miss them a lot. i love summer and my family. it'll be good.

so long CU

quality time...

...it's definitely one of my top love languages.

and i've gotten a lot of it lately =). it makes me glad. i got to go to a cookout with some friends for our ministries tonight. and i got to have my last bible study with my girls. both good times.

and i've gotten to spend a lot of time outside studying or just resting with friends lately. i like it!

and then we got to go to an end-of-year-partyish thing tonight for our saturday church. it was so good. i love being able to be around families like that and have kids running all over and just see people interacting and loving each other. it made my week i think =). i got to sit and talk with one of the moms there and hear a lot more about the church's background and what God's done in the lives there. it was good. very good. i have been given so much.

and now i need to write a paper. =D gnite all.

this is my group...i like them a lot! elliv was fun, three claps to our boys and the act they did!

it's been a good weekend...most of my stuff is moved out already, but i won't actually leave til next saturday. i got to have a good walk with my old RA today and i'm looking forward to good last memories with friends this week before we head out for the summer. happy monday!

if i had a list of my favorite sophomore memories...

...last night would be somewhere quite close to the top.
a wrong turn or two on the roads made for a beautiful drive, a gorgeous sunset, a much needed reminder of the sovereignty and power of our God, time talking to Him and singing to Him with some of my favorite people, much laughter, and many smiles. a great memory to wrap up the year.

*picture to follow perhaps*

and p.s. i was walking back from class today and i'm pretty sure i smelled lilacs!!! =D it's such a comfort smell for me....i love lilacs! it made me really happy =). yay for spring! hope it's just as beautiful out where you are today!

what makes me smile...

been a kinda tough couple of days. the schoolwork's been light this week though, so that helps. God is gracious to send time for working through pain, friends for loving and encouraging, reminders of His faithfulness, and healing too.

and some things always seem to just make me smile even in the middle of a rough day or two. thought i'd show you one of those. it's a picture of me with two of my favorite girls! and it makes my heart very happy!

"blessed..."

"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him"

i was thinking about blessings tonight and that's what Paul had to say about it. of all the blessings none of them can compare with that one. but i can think of so many tonight.

i think of my family...who love me and love Jesus and will let me go serve Him across the country this summer and will be here waiting and loving me when i get back;

i think of the chance to be here at school, it hit me this week how some people work hard at school because their parents have paid so much money for them to be here or even because they've paid so much to be here themselves but honestly, Jesus is the one who has provided the money for me to be here, this year especially He's given the scholarships. and it kind of makes me think a little more about how much i pay attention in classes. and i think of the fact that i have a few profs specifically who love Jesus and model that to me every day.

i think of the friends He has given me here. i love them and i'm so grateful for them. for the good conversations and the laughter and the hugs through the tears when those come too and the meals and the roadtrips and the picnics and so many good times. i'm grateful for the things that i learn from them and for the conversations with them that make me want to go and spend more time with Jesus and for the encouragement in my schoolwork and in life in general. they mean a lot to me!

i think of midtown, my saturday church. the love that i see there is huge; the love shown to those in the community because of the love for Jesus and the opportunites i get there. i got to work in the nursery this week and it was so much fun! i haven't gotten to do official nursery duty since i was a junior in high school and i loved it! mel and i got to watch a couple adorable little kids and it was great!

i think of creekside, my sunday church, and how much i love the people there and the examples that they set for me also. i love them!

i think of the quizmeet this weekend and the friends there. i even got to see jenna and jillian! i got to play with jillian for the first time! i'm really excited to babysit them this summer! so excited!

so yeah....those are the things that have made me feel loved this week and so very blessed! and i could go on and on(but i already did that for plenty long enough for a blog =P) i'm working on praising Him in the tough times, but when i think about it in the good times i like to tell you the things that i thank Him for then too! He has given me so much!

"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty; there's nothing my God cannot do"

i'm going to California!!!

i will miss Kids Kamp and counseling with Mandy and seeing friends and family there incredibly; i will miss my family at home. but i've prayed about it a lot and i really think this is where God wants me this summer. and I trust He will take care of the rest. thank you so much for all of your prayers!

i just got a phone call offering me a job counseling at a camp in California!

i'm still taking a couple of days to pray about it and other options and then i'll give him my answer. so i'd appreciate prayers over the next couple days still while i make the final decision =) and big thanks to all of you who have been praying already!

"let's think of something to do while we're waiting..."

break is good. so is sleeping all day and wearing sweats all day and getting schoolwork done without being worn out and watching tv and talking to lots of family and seeing old friends and eating good homemade food and thinking and celebrating Easter and all that He's done.

praying about this summer still. i got an email from the CA camp this weekend that said i should hear back about that job this week sometime. and then i went to church today and remembered why i love my Ohio camp so much =). so we'll see what God will do....lots of prayer right now. good options either way.

hope you had a happy easter!

my heart tonight...

my heart wants ludlow falls.
very, very much. especially lately as i keep seeing more and more friends from there.

but i know cali would be good too. and i've wanted to go counsel for a whole summer for a very long time. and when i'm not thinking about my camp i'm really, really excited about California.

i'm torn. so torn.
at least i can have family camp at ludlow falls either way! that's helps!
but i don't know what i'll choose...or even if i'll have to choose.
prayers are appreciated as always.

much love, faithful readers ;)

it's spring and i like it!

it's spring! and i like it!

we had pickadate tonight (aka pickafriend if you want to be less awkward =P...basically you and your friends surprise each other with "dates" and it's just a fun way to get to know new people)
i went with my friend matt from momm, we all had a lot of fun...picnicing at john bryan and playing the walmart game and catch phrase...good times

life is good....New Testament test this week...i've learned a lot in that class....so thankful for my school.
and for the gorgeous weather and summer plans and friends and relaxing times and life :)


ooh, and i'm on a nichole nordeman and beach boys kick right now. in case you wondered. beach boys are just fun. and her music makes me want to spend time with Jesus...and i like that in music .

i guess we call it spring fever...

struggling to focus these days and ready for break i spose :-). a good week though.

we're planning a pickadate for this weekend. it's exciting to see how God's answered prayer and brought details together...i didn't really think we could pull it off for awhile there. should be interesting and none of us willetts girls know the secret of who we're going with yet...hooray for surprises!

much to do right now. not much concentration to do it.

pray for God's guidance for the future, this summer, next semester, my life please?

i got into all the classes i wanted next semester...big answer to prayer!

off to finish the speech i'm giving tomorrow. have a good night.

"this is my Father's world"

discontentment vs. contentment vs. apathy...
i feel like i swing back and forth between the two ends and don't stop for long enough in the middle, but i'm learning about that.
i was reminded tonight of how very, very much i have. and how very little others have. and of the ones who are given much, much is demanded. i'm still not sure what that means in my everyday life, but i'm thankful for the reminders to pray and for people who show me how to give.

in other news it's time to register for classes soon...my advisor says i'm even kind of ahead of schedule apparently which is nice...and i just sent in my application to counsel at camp this summer...in California. I just spend earth science lab today looking at maps and it's true--California is all the way on the other side of the continent...but if God takes me there i'll get to spend a few extra weeks with my family before i leave and i would be done in time to come back for family camp! so prayers would be appreciated as the director looks through applications. i also have been given the opportunity to lead a discipleship group again next year and i'm really excited about that, and jen (my roommate to be) and i just signed up to lead a getting started group of freshman together. looks like it will be a fun year!

but only if i get past this lack of motivation and get homework done! gnite all =)

oh and He gave us beautiful weather!

ramblings turned grateful

what to say....another week of school gone by. twas a good week, i felt very productive and organized and that's always a nice feeling. it was good to be back at my own churches again and see people i hadn't seen for awhile. i'm thankful for my relationships right now....being at Midtown worshiping with people I love and then being at Creekside with more people iwhat to say....another week of school gone by. twas a good week, i felt very productive and organized and that's always a nice feeling. it was good to be back at my own churches again and see people i hadn't seen for awhile. i'm thankful for my relationships right now....being at Midtown worshiping with people I love and then being at Creekside with more people i love....both times it just kinda hit me while we were singing how much i love being surrounded by these people who mean so much to me and being in unity and being able to worship together.
i'm thankful for my school....for the fact that i have to take a New Testament class and for all that i've learned there this semester. like that justification means declared righteous. not really one of the big things you expect to learn in college, actually i'm pretty positive i knew that before. but my prof mentioned that a week or two ago almost in passing really, but it hit me hard....declared righteous. incredible.
i'm thankful for times of contentment. for how far God has brought me this year. how much He has taught me. i remember sitting down with a friend at some point this year and talking about how if we all knew the things that were going to happen this school year a lot of us probably would never have wanted to come. but so much good has come from it. i've changed and grown much this year. there have been tough times. stretching times. hurtful times. but so much healing too. God has taught me things in the midst of pain that i don't think i would've learned other ways. (and He's taught me in the good times too!) there were things i thought i understood that i've had to face in a whole new way. like what forgiveness means and what loving like Jesus means. and obviously i don't understand it all now, but i don't think i ever realized how much of it i didn't understand before, if that makes sense. and it's encouraging to look back and see the struggles change...that things get better sometimes and that even though i get frustrated with needing to learn the same things over and over, there's growth along the way.

so yeah, mini-summary of the life of elizabeth in sophomore year and it isn't even over yet, but that's what was on my heart today... i have been blessed with so very much....so many good memories from this year....so, so much in so many ways.....and i'm really glad to be here

break was wonderful...when i'm not so tired i'll try to post some pics and fun stuff like that.

i just found out tonight that i didn't make DC this year. kinda disappointing and kinda relieving but i'm convinced that God's will was done...that decision was very covered in prayer. it was exciting to see who did make it though, because i'm praying about/planning to lead a small group again next year and i would learn a lot under some of those girls. a lot a lot! so that's exciting!

the weather is beautiful.

the ocean was beautiful!
we were there for 3 days and it was amazing to get to see the changes in the ocean and the colors and the sunrise and the beach! twas beautiful!

and yet i have time to blog =)

these days.
when i'm so busy that i feel like i don't have time to even sit down and think.
make me so very thankful for long walks back from class!

"so i cast all of my cares upon You.
I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet.
and anytime I don't know what to do,
I will cast all of my cares upon You."

i'm thankful for good friends, family, upcoming breaks, growing pains, and Jesus:that He's there and makes it worth it.
that came out soudning cheesy. but i'm worn out and it's so very true. =D

"oh how i long for that day"

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

"give me one glorious ambition for my life...to know and follow hard after You"

just wanted to let you know my interview went well today; it was encouraging to talk to the director about different things. i'll found out after spring break who made the group. it was really nice to talk to him though and hear about the team...i'd be really excited to make the team this year or even next year. i really hope that's where God's taking me. so thanks for praying and please keep praying that God will give wisdom in the decision making and that his will will be done.

i have a question. and i've been wondering about it for a couple weeks now i guess. but if you have wisdom and insight to share on it, i'd love to hear. i want to know why it's okay for me as a christian to buy two pairs of shoes when there are people starving and people who haven't heard about jesus and it is possible for me to live with just one pair. there's more to the question than that, but that's kinda the simplest way to put it i guess. i wonder. and it confuses me. any thoughts?

hope you're enjoying the beautiful weather! happy monday!

so i love ludlow falls...

i pulled out the camp applications to fill out tonight....looks like thats how i'm going to spend my summer! it's exciting! i'm having a hard time being motivated to apply right now though, because i want to be at my kids kamp. i really want to be there. but the good news is that i should be at family camp. so i don't really have anything to be upset about =). and maybe i'll even get to be at kids kamp too...who knows =). my mom talked to me about it today though...so i'm going to apply. should be much fun...i've wanted to do this forever!
tomorrow i'm interviewing for a spot on the Discipleship Counsel next year. if i get it i will be leading a group of the girls who lead bible studies on campus. if i don't make it i'm planning to be one of the leaders who are being led under a DC member again. either way would be wonderful! please pray that God's will will be done there tomorrow and as our Ministry leader makes choices =D.
i got to do cedarmania this weekend, and go to a surprise bridal shower for my DC leader from this year, and celebrate for bethanys bday, and go to Sunday School with Miss Judy and the boys, and go sledding (even though i only went down once ;D). twas much fun, but i'm sleepy still....time to head towards bedishness.
gnite

i smile...

today i am thankful that God gave me:
good friends

good conversations that i don't expect

postponed tests

pretty snow

a wonderful bible study

girls for girls' night

valentines

boxes in the mail of homemade cookies

emails from family

His forgiveness and patience
twas a good day. hope you enjoyed it too. gnite now.

some of my very favorite people when we went out for bethany's bday supper =)

sophomore year hospital run #3

jen got very sick and very dehydrated last night.
we talked to my RA and then i called campus safety and then the ER then 911 and they came and took her in the ambulance around 2:00AM.
they even let me ride along which was very nice especially cuz it was really snowy and we couldnt take student cars out.
they got her on some IV and drugs and then released her, so the two of us got home around 5:00 this morning...
it's an interesting story, and i'll tell you about it sometime if you ask =).
but she's feeling much much better today! hooray!
and i had gotten a lot of sleep the night before but i was exhausted that afternoon and didn't know why so i had napped for almost two hours which was great cuz then i had plenty of energy to have a good old fashioned allnighter with jen at the hospital haha. God knew that i needed sleep even when i didnt.

i have a sleep addiction i think. i want more all the time.

we have fun playing on the stairs

reasons today was good...

family/gma time
saturday brunch with friends
ben's bday party w/ more friends
phone time w/ maggie
midtown/ time w/ God
supper w/friends
having a fun drive back with mel and jessica and ben's mom ;)
running to get to the play
You're a Good Man Charlie Brown
sitting on the stairs talking
cranium
zack's run-in with the statue


cinnaberry...it's the new haircolor =)

thoughts

ah, january...it's almost gone. this semester is going by so fast, so often i feel like if i could just get caught up and get ahead i could slow down and enjoy it, but there's so much to do. but it's still been good, though in a different way from last semester. not as much time with friends, probably mostly because we're all busy, but i miss it. i miss our sunday afternoons picnicing and our walks and stargazings. but i enjoy the willetts times and the walmart games and the "dates" with friends and the good talks. i get up earlier this semester even though i don't have classes before chapel...i have breakfast with nathaniel one morning and i go to the gym with mel another morning. it's good.

but i feel disconnected almost this semester. kinda like i keep going through the motions of life, but i like i don't talk as much now. and that's hard. i get tired, but nighttime is my talking time when i want to have deep conversation about life and God and people, but my nightime talking people don't talk to me at night anymore and i miss that alot. but it can be good too...it's starting to teach me to go to bed earlier, which can be a good thing i spose. and it's good to spend that time talking to Jesus. so much to talk to Him about right now too...

i see some of friends from growing up years..some who i never knew that well and some who were some of the best friends that i've had who are changing and who aren't seeking God. i don't understand the change. what happens that causes that? little steps away? big bad choices? what do i do to make sure that who i am isnt just the environment i live in, but that it's who i really am? it hurts to see people change, to see relationships change. some of it's good...sometimes i love change...but i don't always know how to respond to the changes that shouldn't happen. or to those people. and that hurts.

it's been a kinda nostalgic semester...certain times i used to spend talking with friends are over mostly now that those friends have moved on in life...i miss them...but it gives lots of times for thinking. a lot of good memories of lots of different years of life to think about. and the conversations i do get to have with my girls here are encouraging...so very much to enjoy in life right now and even to look forward to in the future. life is grand. i'm enjoying it. just sleepy tonight, hence the kinda melancholy post.

i like it here. =)

thanks for praying! one of the girls found my lost library books today while she was cleaning out her desk! saved me $70!...i was feeling really bad about making a stupid mistake that would waste that much money, but God provided in perfect time so that i hadn't gone to pay for them yet! hooray!
and now i can get my library privileges unsuspended. =P

how we know i'm not ready to be a mother - or a nursing major...

my roommate started feeling sick wednesday night...i never even saw her awake on thursday because she was in bed almost all day...she's been sick ever since, and this morning was the worst yet....she didn't sleep much last night and it hurt to breathe, so we had the EMT come on up this morning and he sent us over to buy her meds and they helped for a little while, but we made an ER run tonight...they got her on antibiotics so she's feeling much better now. thanks to all of you who prayed. we'd appreciate more prayer that none of the rest of us will catch any of it...i think the final diagnosis was strep throat, a sinus infection, and an ear infection or two. crazy stuff. God sent people to help at all the right times...it was an eventful day and i'm a little beat...but it's looking like the rest of the week will be a little more relaxing =).

and hey guys, it's winter! it even snowed! yay!

i smelled the smell of camp today.
it kind of makes me want to be there. actually so does talking to camp friends and family at church and quizzing.but that's what august's for i spose. and maybe even june...who knows

i'm missing two library books...i have about 6 days to find them. pray, please? much thanks.
this weekend i talked to a good friend or two who are still in high school. tomorrow i talk to one or two who are going to graduate from college and be married in about the next six months. where am I in life? good friends who are living with their parents still and good friends who are becoming parents...it's messing with my mind

ps i like it here

ah , break.
it's been good. it really does go by fast, but that's okay. i miss school friends when i'm home, but i'm content here. i tend to be happy when i'm at school and not ready for break and then i come home and i'm pretty happy here and not necessarily ready to go back.

i love to sit here by my window...it's the epitome of midwest-ness out there (except there's no cows, hmmm oh well) but i love to see it. i can see forever...just fields and fields and trees and sky...a few stray cars now and then, but it's soothing to hear them drive by. on days like today i can see the raindrops sticking to the tree branch out my window and see the puddles all around...and later in the afternoon the sun will start to go down and the sunset is gorgeous through the trees and it gives my room this golden glow....and then at night the stars will come out...theyre so bright out here....and it's all so peaceful! mountains are pretty and canyons are awesome, but theres just something serenely beautiful about midwest scenery.
hmm that was sappy.

well, i think this break has almost accomplished it's purpose....i came home really, really drained in so many ways and i'm feeling recharged. amazing what sleeping and thinking and praying and sleeping all day can do for a person. i thought of lots of questions over break...about life, and motives, and emotions, and choices. i think i even came to some conclusions. came up with some goals for next semester. we'll see what happens. it's been good to catch up on time with God over break....it's different when life's at a slower pace...gives me more time to think about what i'm learning...not at all that He doesnt teach me when life is going faster, because i definitely learn then too....i just don't get the time to sit around and ponder it like i do over breaks. it kinda reminds me of the story about Elijah about when he was waiting for God and He wasn't in the huge wind or the earthquake or the fire, but He was in the gentle whisper. not really the same thing, but it reminds me of that...the whole "Be still and know that I am God" thing i think.

it's been a good day. haven't really done much, but welcome to break =). but it was a good night. sometimes God answers prayer in ways that i don't really understand what changed, but i can tell that He changed me. and last night was like that...i had lots of random dreams haha, but i woke up with a change of heart i spose. odd huh? but good...
He is Good =), break is helpful, friends are great...life is nice. the end.

2006:

• changed my major to pscyh

• went to the ocean with the family! and thought i was gonna die cuz i dont wear sunblock...but we'll ignore that part...it was still fun.

• got to spend a week-ish with the MI cousins

• went to kids kamp and got to counsel with mandy again! our 3rd year as cabin Esther!

• went to quiz finals for probably the last time

• went to my grandpa's funeral

• got to know a lot of my extended family (my gpa's step-kids)

• went to family camp and got to watch jenna again and try being in charge of a preschool class for a few day! and had lots of good times with friends in the middle of it all! i love it there

• spent one more summer traveling with my family.

• met jessica, ben, jen, and mel! how crazy is that, that i didn't know any of them at the beginning of last year? it's kind of exciting to think about what could happen now this year too.

• moved into a hall with a bunch of amazing girls!

• got to lead a getting started group with kaitlin!

• started going to the same school as nathaniel again!

• took lots of wonderful picnics and an amazing road trip to MI with some of my favorite people!

• got to bring friends home lots of times...even 10 once!

• still get to go to church with two of my favorite families and even got to start taking some friends from school with me!

• got the chance to lead a discipleship group of 8 great girls and the chance to be in a group with 7 other girls who have taught me so much about God this year!

had one of the best and hardest semesters of my life thus far. this last semester was really hard at some points...times with friends were really difficult in some ways, but as cliche as it sounds, those are the times when God has taught me the most. pain is a good attention-grabber and i've learned a lot this year. i'm really thankful for that!

it was also the best semester i've had in that i've gotten close to so many people that i love at school and even been able to be home a lot too. i've never gone back to the same group of friends at school before because of moving and graduation and stuff and that was a definite blessing this year. it's been so good spending time with a few close friends too...God has given me several friends that know me better than very many people ever have and i get to live with them and hang out with them a lot...i have journal entries i can look back at where i was asking God to send me someone at school that i could talk to about things and He's provided way more than one person!!! it's been good and i'm excited about 2007!